how can you be so mad at one person?

for all my life that person was like the world to me and yes we got in fights but it didnt matter i always knew in my head that we were always gunna be best friends forever

well i miss that family so much..it like tears my heart in two when i think of them...

wow every day there is something done to us that we dont agree with...well we over react and do stuff right back to them instead of doing to them as you would want them to do to you in the first place...( yea i suck at this)

 well one day i dont just want to blow off the bad stuff..i want to see everyone DANCE UPON  INJUSTICE!!!

the other day me and my mom sat in front of the mirror for like 10 minutes straight.. making fun of my face....now if that isnt motherly love...what is???

i hate feeling like this...how can some peoples lives look so perfect..are they really perfect? or do you just wish yours could be like that

how do some people always have their best friends and others have to spend every year trying to find a new one...

when you grow up would you rather have 8 absolute best friends? or get married to a guy who you love with all of your heart and is your best friend?

I WANT A DIFFERENT LIFE so many times i just sit still and think too much...and i just wish sometimes that this wasnt my life....then i look back at old pictures and it makes me cry bc i want it back..i want those friends to be mine again and i want to not have to htink about who to call...

is this just a big test from god bc if it is..im failing bc i cant do this..its so hard and i always hear..you can over come anything..but can you really? or do you just bottle it all up and try live out your past..how do you look forwards to the future? y am i always so depressed and how come i cant understand what god is trying to tell me what i need to do...i want to devote my entire life to him and live for him every second..but i dont know how...and i have decided that i need to learn to tell other people stuff..like i wish i wasnt afraid to go tell alanna stuff bc i know she could help me but somethings just holding me back

well me and chris broke up...

but im ok so yall dont have to freak out or anything..really....and i know this sounds weird but i like this other guy now and he is unbelievably nice..like the smallest things that i would never think of doing, he does and i dont really know y he's so nice to me..but i love it

and i also absolutely love my new friends!!!MY ART TABLE we share such a bond

well every night for the past week me and john walk to amandas and play with her kitty ruthy...and call john gay and sit in the hold-a-sak ...(the round thing in the street)..and take pictures of johns singed haired butt..which i will try to get on here later...its so much fun..

wow this entry is pretty gay..just like my boring little life...well

I GOT UP AN HOUR EARLY THIS MORNING i forgot the time changed..so i am now ready for church at 7:30...it starts at 9:30

ahh i hate when my family gets upset..i really dont mean anything by it...i just get really mad and sad and i just wish i would have done what i was told to do..

ohhh and john...im so sorry

well goodbye!

woohoo..im back in action!...well have you ever really liked how someone acted around you or treated you ..but then you realize they do that to everyone...haha then you get really bummed..yea well i dont like it ...

and dont you hate when you dont have like a set group of friends..like there are so many people you would love to hang out with but you dont always go with them..like i love hangin out with mo-diddy and krim and kell and mandy..but i never make the effort to call them..like they always clue me in on whats happenin..but i dont always go with them...and like in the past i have always had my one best friend and now i dont... like now i dont have that one person who you can just be like hey im coming over or hey this or that and spill your guts out..you know?..so far..high school is not that much fun..and everyone just intimidates me..like i get so scared to just "be myself" around people i dont really know and so people always tell me to just act outgoing..but acting isnt being me! so i hate when i dont know how to "act" and sometimes i dont really know how i would really act..

well those are my life trivias right now..and i miss all of our guys we used to hang out with..like madison..i havent talked to him in forever and caleb and jamie and drew and john..which i havent actually had a conversation with in who knows how long..and everyone else!!..well i still love all my friends...

ps i think i broke my big toe....

pss i think theres a sleep over at despinos tonight!

                                                MICHELLE